What a life I must have..

Picture this:

It's friday night. It's warm, the wind is at low mph's, and its clear. You live in a high-paced, city full of entertainment, lights, and 24-hour establishments that are always ready for your business. You're 22, single, and mildly attractive. You have the world at your finger-tips. A city rich in opportunity and things to do with umpteen resources. And what are you doing? Sitting at home. In your apartment, alone. John Mayer is playing in the background, and the flicker of candles dance across the screen of your laptop, which is plastered with your students' papers. And you are accompaning this thrilling activity with a pot of COFFEE. Yes, you're grading papers. And drinking coffee. On a friday night. In Las.. fucking...Vegas. Does anyone else see something wrong with this?

A lot of my friends recently have brought to my attention that I do not act my age. That they feel I am letting life pass me by, and that I am trying to grow up too fast. A part of me sides with their argument, but at the same time this is the way I've always been. I am a student, and a nerd at that... but I've never really partied like a rockstar or acted like a normal college kid. And to be honest, I am ok with that. I am forced by my responsibility to keep a good GPA, and stay responsible. I have people depending on me to get my work done efficiently and correctly.

When I used to have facebook, I used to look at the girls I was friends with that also go to UNLV and just be.. jealous. Seeing their rowdy pictures in the dorms, at the clubs, etc. Wasted, plastered with tacky makeup and matching tacky outfits.. I wouldn't be that extreme but, I often wonder what it would be like to be carefree. Am I missing out on a part of my life that I will regret later? Am I too much of a square? Am I far too responsible?

The thing is, I don't really know what ANOTHER life would have brought. If I wouldn't have gotten a full ride to graduate school, and didn't chose the route of Academia for my path at this juncture, what would I be doing? Would I be married and making babies like a grand majority of my highschool/college friends? Would I be working a minimum wage job and still living at home? Would I be making a comfortable salary and living alone with a big dog somewhere in a small town?

I don't have any answers.. just making observations. I didn't realy think about it until a considerable amount of my friends (who are older than me, wishing they could rewind to my age) brought it to my attention, and you know me... once I start thinking.....