New Year, New Beginnings...

Life changes all the time. Unfortunately, most people aren't prepared for change and watch it pass by before they can take advantage of new opportunities. Not me. I am a huge advocate for new people, new situations, new chapters and new beginnings. Diversity combats boredom. New zests up the still. Its a necessary evil for everyone, especially if you are sick of your life being on pause mode. I was sick of my life being this way, and knew I had to do something drastic. I knew it was more than just a new hair style, new clothes, new car, or a new hobby. It was a new school, new friends, new support systems, and most important of all, a new environment. I couldn't do habit anymore, I couldn't stay and wasn't happy in the cycle that my life was processing through.

So I packed up, and left. I had to leave behind the people that I had loved and cared about forever and do something for myself. It was the hardest challenge, and still is. I am learning new things about myself every day. Things I really dont like, things I want to change, and things that I am working on changing right now. I let go of a lot of pain and anger that I felt towards some people, and unfortunately carried a large part of it on my shoulders here to Vegas. I am working through it, mostly alone. I think I will appreciate life so much more when I am finally able to breathe with my head above water. I wouldn't change any of it for the world, no matter how many times I have already or continue to hit rock bottom. These stresses are making me a stronger, more independent, aware woman; someone I've always dreamt of becoming.

Recently I've done a ton of soul searching. I've looked into my life at the things that were causing me pain, anger, resentment, confusion, and dependancy. I looked at all of these things long and hard, and have come to terms with what I needed to change. I've realized the things I need to let go; and there were quite a few. Two different yet equally important broken pieces of my heart were preventing me from being 100% happy, or even the idea of being happy. One was something that I had been repressing since my youth, the other very recent. I knew both were things I could not change, and that I needed to find the forgiveness in my heart to give myself the closure I needed and deserved.

I have successfully let go of one piece, the one I was still harboring inside from my childhood. I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, and that I can grow with this person past the long life of hurt and anger that we've experienced together. The second piece, slowly but steadily is coming along.